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Today, I barely feel or think at all.

I numb myself, as if it’s the only way to shun feeling devastated. The tears only stopped as the command in my head. The talk feels like work. And this weight in my chest just keeps pressing until I feel nauseous if I let myself feel it.

I don’t want to scream though. I feel like I’m drowning in words, yet I stop reading, stop writing, stop feeling. They say it’s okay not to be okay. But the thing is, how do I allow myself to be okay?

Guess tonight, I’ll just exist.

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