Langsung ke konten utama

He's still my favorite star.

But I've stepped out of his gravity.

There was a time
I thought I'd shine brighter
orbiting his.
As if light only made sense
when it came from his direction.

Maybe now,
I want to be the sea.
Or maybe dust.
A part of everything 
and owed to no one. 

Maybe a voice,
a line between letters.
Or a scent that lingers in the doorway,
long after I've left.

Maybe I just want to be human again.

Someone ordinary.
Someone allowed to feel joy
without apologizing for it.

Someone who still waits for good news
without bracing for the worst.
Who still hopes.
Who forgets,
and forgives herself, anyway.

I still look at the sky.
Mostly after dawn,
when everything is hushed,
and the prayers still hang in the air.

He's probably shining
somewhere else now.
He always belonged 
to a different sky
than the one I could reach.

And yes,
some nights I miss him
before I even realize I do.
And some mornings,
I still look for him
out of habit.
Glance upward
as if he'd still be there.

But I'm learning to walk
without asking the stars
if I'm allowed.

He's still the brightest star
I've ever known. 

And I guess I found him early
because I wasn't meant to keep him.

So maybe now,
I can stop orbiting
and become a sky of my own. 


Komentar

  1. reed31 Juli 2025 pukul 15.41


    hai kak, aku silent reader yang sudah membaca beberapa artikel. aku suka cara kamu menulis dan bagaimana menyampaikan perasaan secara visual. "how do you feel" saat kamu menulis semua ini? momen bahagia dan sedih mu itu tersampiakan.

    day by day kondisinya membaik kamu akan menemukan seseorang yang memilihmu dalam kondisi apapun. kamu merasa diterima dan layak dicinta. mungkin sudah tiba saatnya menangis bukan karna sedih yang selama ini kamu rasa--melainkan karena bahagia.

    aku pernah baca buku yang menuliskan;

    "momen semenyenangkan apapun enggak bisa diperlambat apalagi dihentikan, ia tetep terjadi dan akan berlalu

    momen semenyedihkan apapun, gak bisa dipercepat apalagi dilompati, ia tetep terjadi dan akan berlalu.

    terkadang waktu, kala, terus berjalan tanpa peduli perasaan kita"

    jika tuhan membawamu ke suatu perjalanan maka dia akan membantumu untuk melewatinya, anddd tuhan menghancurkan rencanamu agar rencanamu tidak menghancurkanmu. simple words yet have deep meaning.

    sejatinya cinta dan kenyamanan butuh waktu yang gak sembarangan.

    untuk segala sesuatu di kolong langit ini ada masanya.
    sudah dirancang sedemekian rupa dan merupakan rancangan yang sempurna.

    Tidak terlalu cepat.
    Tidak terlalu lambat
    Tepat.

    salam hangat, and cheer up. ;)

    BalasHapus
    Balasan
    1. putri3 Agustus 2025 pukul 01.28

      Wah... Terima kasih, yaaa. Rasanya penuh sekali membaca ini. Semoga, siapa dan di mana pun kamu, juga selalu dikelilingi kebaikan yang sama, yaa. Terima kasihh!

      Hapus

Posting Komentar

Postingan populer dari blog ini

Hey. I don't know if this will ever find you, or if it even should. But if it does, someday, or somehow, I hope by then, we can remember it all in a way that softens the edges of what we couldn't hold.  Before the beginning, I kept buying myself more time. Telling myself I needed it. More days, more weeks, more moments to understand you, to understand us, to think until I drowned, to stop thinking when it hurt too much, to feel what I kept denying, to forgive what I didn't want to admit, to quiet the storm inside, to loosen my grip, to finally let you go. But every time I said: not today, maybe later, maybe after the next small milestones. After we met. After a week. After your special day. After my birthday. After yours. After December 21. God, it stings just naming that date. And maybe I would keep doing that. Keep pushing the line further away, making excuses, inventing new deadlines just so I could write you back into existence. So I could keep you here, on the page, ev...
Posting Komentar
Baca selengkapnya

It’s your birthday today.

You never liked birthdays. I always wanted to celebrate you. Maybe that’s why we’re not here. It’s your birthday today. Last year, when the day ended, I told myself. Next year, I’d do better. Next year, you’d feel safer. I thought I could give you that. It’s your birthday today. I hope you’re kinder to yourself. Or maybe I’m still pretending I know what’s best for you. It’s your birthday today, and I still hope you heal. The kind that makes you believe. Or maybe I’m still arrogant to think I ever knew enough of you. It’s your birthday today. May your life be long. Your patience, your strength. Your feelings. The ones that make you laugh like the world’s still worth it, or the ones that push you to do whatever it takes. I really hope you find what’s yours. And it finds you. I hope nothing but the best, for you. Today is your birthday. Happy birthday.
Posting Komentar
Baca selengkapnya

Maybe someday, or next week, I’ll finally forget you.

Because today, I still love you. Maybe it’s not even you anymore, but the version of you I kept safe in my head. Maybe that’s why the feeling still stays like they haven't heard the news. Because I keep thinking. Maybe you were just as lost, and just as hurt. That maybe the only reason we bled was because we didn’t know how else to hold our pain. And so the words we said only sounded like weapons. I keep thinking that someday, you’ll find answers you haven’t yet found the words for. And I once wondered: is it love when we believe in it, or is it love when we accept what it never was? I still don’t know. But I do know this: I still check in on you. Still care about things you won’t share. Still wonder about how your heart is doing today. So maybe not now. Because now, you still live somewhere in me. Even when you’ve long been gone. And maybe not yet. Because there are things I still want to write. Yours, I still want to hold space for. And this one thing I still want to say: I still...
Posting Komentar
Baca selengkapnya