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He's still my favorite star.

But I've stepped out of his gravity.

There was a time
I thought I'd shine brighter
orbiting his.
As if light only made sense
when it came from his direction.

Maybe now,
I want to be the sea.
Or maybe dust.
A part of everything 
and owed to no one. 

Maybe a voice,
a line between letters.
Or a scent that lingers in the doorway,
long after I've left.

Maybe I just want to be human again.

Someone ordinary.
Someone allowed to feel joy
without apologizing for it.

Someone who still waits for good news
without bracing for the worst.
Who still hopes.
Who forgets,
and forgives herself, anyway.

I still look at the sky.
Mostly after dawn,
when everything is hushed,
and the prayers still hang in the air.

He's probably shining
somewhere else now.
He always belonged 
to a different sky
than the one I could reach.

And yes,
some nights I miss him
before I even realize I do.
And some mornings,
I still look for him
out of habit.
Glance upward
as if he'd still be there.

But I'm learning to walk
without asking the stars
if I'm allowed.

He's still the brightest star
I've ever known. 

And I guess I found him early
because I wasn't meant to keep him.

So maybe now,
I can stop orbiting
and become a sky of my own. 


Komentar


  1. hai kak, aku silent reader yang sudah membaca beberapa artikel. aku suka cara kamu menulis dan bagaimana menyampaikan perasaan secara visual. "how do you feel" saat kamu menulis semua ini? momen bahagia dan sedih mu itu tersampiakan.

    day by day kondisinya membaik kamu akan menemukan seseorang yang memilihmu dalam kondisi apapun. kamu merasa diterima dan layak dicinta. mungkin sudah tiba saatnya menangis bukan karna sedih yang selama ini kamu rasa--melainkan karena bahagia.

    aku pernah baca buku yang menuliskan;

    "momen semenyenangkan apapun enggak bisa diperlambat apalagi dihentikan, ia tetep terjadi dan akan berlalu

    momen semenyedihkan apapun, gak bisa dipercepat apalagi dilompati, ia tetep terjadi dan akan berlalu.

    terkadang waktu, kala, terus berjalan tanpa peduli perasaan kita"

    jika tuhan membawamu ke suatu perjalanan maka dia akan membantumu untuk melewatinya, anddd tuhan menghancurkan rencanamu agar rencanamu tidak menghancurkanmu. simple words yet have deep meaning.

    sejatinya cinta dan kenyamanan butuh waktu yang gak sembarangan.

    untuk segala sesuatu di kolong langit ini ada masanya.
    sudah dirancang sedemekian rupa dan merupakan rancangan yang sempurna.

    Tidak terlalu cepat.
    Tidak terlalu lambat
    Tepat.

    salam hangat, and cheer up. ;)

    BalasHapus
    Balasan
    1. Wah... Terima kasih, yaaa. Rasanya penuh sekali membaca ini. Semoga, siapa dan di mana pun kamu, juga selalu dikelilingi kebaikan yang sama, yaa. Terima kasihh!

      Hapus

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