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I lost count of how long I’ve been in this loop.

It was a fine morning,
when I woke up and wrote down everything
I still dared to want.

How I wished to see myself by year’s end.
The work I would do,
the home I would build,
and the kind of person,
I hoped would be the last I would ever love.

They say prayers work best when they are specific.
So I gave mine shape.
I made it whole.

But I guess I forgot to ask,
for the courage to meet it
when it arrives.

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