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By the end of this day, I should understand that it’s all really over.

I should know, realize, and accept that my more than 10-year first love is not going to happen, even though this morning should’ve been the day we married.

Because after all, it hits so hard in a language I have never known before, not even in the hardest period when everything crumbled.

It just hurts so much. But I think I have cried my lungs out.

And I think I have cried enough.

Today is really going to end, and so will my almost.


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