Not for anything, definitely not for anyone. So when someone stayed,
I held on like it was the only way to choose myself.
Because in their choosing, I finally found a way to silence the part of me
that always asked: what made me a bad choice?
Even if all I ever offered was a version of me
still waiting to be rescued from herself.
You see.
Letting go felt too brutal.
Too empty.
Too much silence to carry alone.
What do you hold when you stop holding
the only thing you know how to hold on to?
So I stayed because I was terrified
of what I’d find without them.
Or maybe I was just tired. Of being disappointed in who I couldn’t be.
And too tired to hate myself all over again.
That’s why it took so long to finally stop.
But hey, am all good today.
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