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I’ve turned it over in my head.

Which one is better.

When I was still afraid this would fall apart,
or when I longed for that fear after it finally did.

I told myself I’ve found the answer.

I don’t want to go back,
but I’d give anything
to live it once more.

I don’t want to keep imagining
how it could have been,
but I do want to keep replaying
how it was.

I want to let it go,
but I keep myself coming back
for one more glimpse.

And I don’t know how to walk through this,
or if walking through it is even possible.

I just want to stop wanting.

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